John Maxwell has helpfully defined leadership in terms of influence and has concluded that, because leadership is influence, all of us are leaders whether we realize it or not. If Maxwell is right, and I for one think that he is, then the real question each of us should be asking ourselves is not, “Am I a leader?” but “What kind of leader am I?” Am I a good leader or a bad leader? Is my influence helpful or unhelpful? Does it build others up, help them to be successful, and encourage them to give themselves to fulfilling the mission and goals? Or does it tear people down, hinder their success, and encourage them to cut corners or offer less than their best?
Both kinds of leadership—good and bad—are effective. They work. They have an impact. Good leadership generally has a good impact, and bad leadership generally has the opposite effect. Jesus says as much in Luke 6:39-40 when he explains that every disciple will always become like his or her teacher (v. 40). Following a “blind” teacher will, as Jesus says, result in “both [of us] fall[ing] into a pit.” Following a good teacher, however, will lead us in a completely different and much better direction. For better or worse, we become like what we are around. And that’s why leadership always works.
I can think of two experiences from my own life that will demonstrate this idea. The first happened about 26 or 27 years ago, when my son was really young. I was hanging a shelf in his bedroom at my wife’s request. In the process of hanging the shelf, I accidentally hit my thumb with the hammer and said something that I shouldn’t have said. My son immediately repeated the word he heard, and I was instantly convicted that I hadn’t done a better job of controlling my tongue. I also resolved, from that point on, that I would try to be a healthier influence in his life than I had been in that moment. The second event occurred many years later. After going to seminary and being called as a pastor, I was sitting in a prayer meeting at church when I heard someone in the congregation pray with the same words that I had been using in my own prayers. Even though my seminary professors had told me that members of the congregation would begin to pray like me after sitting under my praying and preaching, I still wasn’t prepared for the occasion when it happened. I remember thinking, “Wait a minute! Those are my words!”
Those two experiences show us that leadership does, in fact, work. The things we do and say really do have an impact. And that’s because we really do become like what we are around.
Taking responsibility
It is for this reason that we need to expand our definition of leadership. John Maxwell’s definition is helpful but insufficient. It doesn’t go far enough. Leadership is about more than influence—although it certainly isn’t about less. It is also about taking responsibility for the influence that we have. The leader takes responsibility to influence others in the right ways and unto the right ends or goals. Leaders don’t just influence; they take responsibility to ensure that they are influencing rightly.
Influencing rightly will look different depending on the context that we are talking about. In business contexts, for instance, it will probably mean influencing others in keeping with the company’s core values and toward the accomplishment of the company’s mission and goals. In other contexts, however, it may look quite different. Thus, in the church it could mean striving to influence others in the ways that God would want us to (as revealed in His Word) and unto the fulfillment of His mission, which is to bring glory to Himself and people to salvation in and through Jesus Christ.
We see leaders taking responsibility for the influence they have in many places in the Bible. One example is found in Genesis 43:3-10, which describes Judah’s rise to leadership within the family of Jacob. In these verses, Judah takes responsibility for his brothers when their father Jacob commands them to go and buy grain in Egypt. Judah steps up and speaks on their behalf, while the brothers remain silent. He takes responsibility for bringing Benjamin back safely from Egypt when Jacob doesn’t want Rachel’s only other son to go with them. And he takes responsibility for speaking truth to Jacob even when Jacob may not like what he has to say. Judah confronts Jacob and will not let him wallow in his self-pity and grief. He knows that Benjamin must go to Egypt or else the family will not be able to buy grain; and, if that happens, they will all starve. Judah takes ownership for the influence he has and wields it for the good of Jacob and the entire family. That is leadership.
Having a platform
But leadership is not only about taking responsibility. It’s also about having a platform to speak into other people’s lives. Both Reuben and Judah took responsibility for bringing Benjamin home from Egypt (cf. Gen. 42:7 with 43:8-10). But only Judah had the platform to influence Jacob sufficiently enough that he would entrust Benjamin into his keeping. Reuben lost his platform when he slept with Jacob’s wife Bilhah, Rachel’s handmaiden, after Rachel’s death (see Gen. 35:22 and 49:4). In doing so, he had directly attacked Jacob’s headship and authority within the family and, thus, had lost his ability to influence anyone, much less Jacob. It is no coincidence that from this time forward, Jacob’s second son Judah becomes the de facto leader of the family instead of Reuben. Judah was not only willing to take responsibility, but he had the platform to do it as well.
So many of us want to have influence but don’t give the necessary time and attention to building and maintaining a platform for that influence. But influence and the platform for that influence always go together. You can’t have one without the other. Rather than opining our lack of influence, we should instead give our time and energy to building our relationships with others and to earning their trust and respect. Once we do, the influence will come.
Being the calmest person in the room
Leaders take responsibility for the influence that they have, and they build a platform to earn the right to speak into other people’s lives. But leaders also handle conflicts and problems without escalating them into something much worse. Leaders are, as one author has put it, the calmest person in the room at all times. They deescalate problems rather than throwing gasoline on them. They are a calming influence when tensions and maybe even tempers run high.
This is exactly what Judah seems to do in Genesis 43:3-10. Although he was the one who took responsibility to speak to Jacob on behalf of his brothers, he doesn’t respond to Jacob’s attack that follows (v. 6). The brothers do, but Judah remains silent. He appears to be the calmest person in the room. The brothers take the bait and react to Jacob’s personal attack, but Judah remains detached and unaffected and, yet, still is very much focused on solving the problem (which he does in vv. 8-9 by pledging to bring Benjamin back home safely). What is more, the way in which Judah attempts to solve the problem reflects his calm demeanor. His words are a stark contrast to Reuben’s (in Gen. 42:37). Both Reuben and Judah pledge to bring Benjamin home, but the way they do it is wholly different. Reuben’s response is anything but calm and measured. His response is more of an emotional outburst: “Kill my two sons if I do not bring him back to you.” But Judah’s reaction is much more staid: “Send the boy with me….I will be a pledge of his safety” (43:8-9).
Judah steps up and takes responsibility; he has the platform to speak into Jacob’s and the family’s life; and he is the calmest person in the room. And his leadership bears fruit. The brothers not only return with grain and with Simeon and Benjamin too, but they also return with news that Joseph is still alive and has provided a place for them to live with him in Egypt. Judah’s leadership works. It is a big part of what God uses to save many lives (see Gen. 50:20).
I am convinced that the single most important factor in determining the success of any venture, business, or ministry—humanly speaking of course—is leadership. That is because every venture, business, or ministry involves people. Our ability to influence people rightly is, therefore, of paramount importance. Most of the failures that I have seen in business and in the church have been leadership failures. We need more men and women who will take responsibility for the influence that they have; who will seek to influence others rightly, in the way that God would want them to and in keeping with His Word; who will build a platform to earn the right to speak into other people’s lives; and who will remain calm even in the face of conflict and criticism. We need the Lord of the harvest to raise up such leaders, because the harvest is indeed plentiful, but the leaders are few (Matt. 9:38).